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Annex 


5019065 


THE  SPOILT  CHILD. 


AN   ADDRESS   IN  THE   RODEF  SHALOM  TEMPLE 
PITTSBURGH,    SUNDAY,    NOVEMBER    17,     1912. 


Scripture  Reading,  Proverbs  Hi. 


Whom  the  Lord  loveth  He  corrected!,  as  a  father  the  son 
in   whom   he  delighteth.      (Proverbs  iii.,   12.) 


A  moment's  consideration  of  human  society  will 
make  it  clear  that  most  of  all  that  we  possess  of  per- 
manent worth  has  cqme  to  us  out  of  the  struggle  man 
was  forced  to  undergo  for  the  protection  of  his  child. 
While  he  might  lead  his  consort  hither  and  thither,  and 
while. they  might  easily  withstand  the  ravages  of  storm 
and  strain,  he  was  soon  compelled  to  find  some  shelter 
in  which  to  protect  their  child.  Thus  the  home  grew 
out  of  the  bitter  experiences  endured  by  early  man  and 
woman  in  their  endeavor  fo  save  their  offspring. 


*By  the  Rev.  J.  Leonard  Levy,  Rabbi  of  the  Congregation. 
Stenographically  reported  by  Caroline  Loewenthal. 


What  Society  Has  Done  for  the  Child. 

If  we  consider  the  vast  expenditures  now  being  made 
tOr  public  education,  we  shall  soon  realize  that  they  rep- 
resent an  offering  produced  through  the  wisdom  gained 
by  a  lung  experience  which  has  taught  us  that  the  safety 
of  the  State-  depends  upon  educated  citizens.  Every  uni- 
ver>itv  which  graces  the  earth  has  grown  out  of  the 
desire  to  provide  the  means  of  education  for  the  coming 
generation.  I '.very  public  school,  which  annually  sends 
out  into  the  world  boys  and  girls  trained  for  the  duties 
of  life,  i-  but  the  product  of  a  long  period  of  human 
-i niggle  during  which  man  learned  that  that  which  he 
iiad  -ained  after  many  years  of  trial  would  be  conserved 
in  the  di-tant  future,  onlv  if  his  progeny  were  educated. 

Kvcry  hospital,  every  orphan  asylum,  every  institu- 
tion ,,f  mercy  which  graces  the  earth  as  the  flowers  adorn 
a  -ninmer  garden,  and  which  represents  the  ripe  blos- 
-"iii  of  human  affection,  exists  because  man,  through  his 
wanderings  and  sufferings,  through  his  trials  and  tri- 
umph-, learned  that  he  must  properly  protect  and  fortify 
the  rising  generation  if  permanence  is  to  be  given  to  the 
human  race. 

Kvery  effort  now  being  made  by  devoted  men  and 
\\oiuen  to  a-sure  social  stability  is,  in  the  ultimate,  the 
product  of  the  desire  of  faithful  parents  to  guide  the 
child,  to  give  it  the  best  chance  in  life,  and  to  secure  for 
posterity  the  best  possible  results  of  human  endeavor. 
The  most  important  social  factor  is  the  child.  All  our 
hopes  and  aims  and  ambitions  are  centered  in  this  pro- 


duct  of  the  human  affections.  All  our  anticipations  and 
fondest  dreams  are  woven  about  our  children, — those 
little  strings  from  the  lute  of  love  designed  to  produce 
harmony  and  music  in  the  world. 

Filial  Gratitude. 

It  is  surely  true,  speaking  in  the  most  general  way, 
that  a  child  rarely  can  fully>  repay  its  parents  for  the  self- 
devotion,  the  self-consecration,  and  the  self-sacrifice, 
which  every  normal  father  and  mother  manifest  towards 
tlreir  little  ones.  No  child  should  ever  forget  that  it 
owes  its  body,  its  mind,  its  soul,  its  affectional  disposi- 
tion, all  it  is  and  has,  to  the  father  who  created  it  and 
to  the  mother  who  bore  it  and  nourished  it  with  her  own 
life-giving  sustenance.  The  color  of  the  hair,  the  ex- 
pression of  the  eye,  the  tone  of  the  voice,  the  motion  of 
the  hand,  the  grace  of  the  body,  the  ability  of  the  mind, — 
all,  in  the  last  analysis,  are  products,  more  or  less,  of  a 
careful  mother's  prayer  and  of  a  father's  unending  labor. 

Filial  Respect. 

Though  it  may  be  necessary  for  a  teacher  some- 
times, even  in  the  hearing  of  the  child,  to  discuss  with 
parents  their  own  delinquencies,  every  honest  boy  and 
girl,  every  young  son  and  daughter  that  is  not  a  cad  or 
a  prig  will  confirm  the  words  of  Alexander  the  Great, 
uttered  in  reply  to  one  who  had  adversely  criticised  the 
conqueror's  mother.  Said  he,  in  so  many  words,  "One 
word  of  my  mother  will  more  than  outweigh  anything 
he  may  say  against  her."  The  words  spoken  here  this 


morning  are  most  general  in  character,  and  are  not  an 
invitation  to  children  to  sit  in  judgment  on  their  parents. 
On  the  contrary  if  some  parental  failings  are  considered, 
every  boy  and  girl,  in  whose  heart  is  a  spark  of  esteem 
for  all  that  their  parents  have  done  for  them,  will,  it  is 
hoped,  but  learn  to  avoid  similar  errors  in  the  years 
when  they  are  parents. 

A  Wreck. 

S<>nie  time  ago  I  was  standing  on  the  boardwalk  at 
Atlantic  City  gazing  on  a  ship  that  had  foundered  at  sea 
after  striking  some  hidden  rock  or  shoal.  A  few  hours 
l>ef'>re  the  magnificent  vessel  was  like  a  thing  of  life; 
all  ii<  >ails  were  set,  the  men  on  board  were  full  of  ac- 
tivity. an\i»us  to  enter  the  harbor  to  enjoy  the  fruit  of 
their  t»il  after  many  months  sailing  over  many  oceans. 
The  vessel  was  a  fine  specimen  of  modern  American 
ship-building,  but  because  of  the  lack  of  watchfulness 
on  the  part  of  those  who  directed  it,  or  because  of  some 
current  which  played  havoc  with  the  rudder,  or  because 
of  wind,  weather  or  a  visitation  of  God,  or  from  whatso- 
ever cause  you  will,  this  ship  now  lay  upon  its  side,  a 
wreck,  its  cargo  flating  upon  the  sea  and,  very  probably, 
lost  to  its  owners  forever.  I  deplored  this  destruction; 
I  felt  sad  at  this  sight;  but  I  have  never  been  more  sad- 
dened by,  nor  have  I  ever  more  profoundly  deplored  any 
sight  than  the  desolation  I  have  seen  in  hospital,  reforma- 
tory, penitentiary,  jail,  and  on  the  highways  and  byways 
of  life,  where  I  have  so  frequently  came  face  to  face  with 
the  wreck,  not  of  timber  and  sails,  but  of  human  life. 


Human  Wrecks. 

There  are  few  of  us  here  present,  if  we  are  honest  with 
ourselves,  but  will  confess  that  very  largely,  not  alto- 
gether, but  very  largely,  these  human  wrecks,  strewn 
hither  and  thither  over  the  face  of  the  earth,  are  the 
product  of  the  weakness  of  those  whom  God  and  nature 
have  assigned  to  guide  the  child.  "Whomsoever  the 
Lord  loveth,  He  correcteth,"  and  every  wise  father  cor- 
rects the  child  he  loves  and  every  wise  mother  adminis- 
ters admonition  when  it  is  needed.  The  failure  to  cor- 
rect and  admonish  properly  and  seasonably  is  often  the 
cause  of  such  wreckage,  the  worst  specimen  of  which  is 
found  in  the  spoilt  child,  weakened  by  the  inefficient 
guidance  of  parents  who  knew  not  the  duties  and  re- 
sponsibilities of  parenthood. 

When,  in  a  word,  we  see  a  ship  founder  on  the  un- 
seen rocks  or  keel  over  on  the  sunken  shoals,  we  are  dis- 
tressed, and  we  are  apt  to  blame  the  captain  for  in- 
competence, ignorance  or  inattention  to  duty.  When 
we  see  a  human  wreck,  destroyed  on  the  rocks  of  tempta- 
tion or  overturned  on  the  hidden  shoals  of  ignorance,  we 
weep,  and  we  are  ^pt  to  blame  the  natural  protectors  for 
failure  to  provide  a  fitting  compass  and  rudder  to  guide 
and  control. 

The  Good  Parent. 

Many  of  us  have  an  exceedingly  poor  idea  of  what 
constitutes  a  good  father  and  a  good  mother.  The  aver- 
age man  seems  to  believe  that,  if  he  leaves  home  in  the 
morning  for  his  day's  labors  and  spends  unbroken  hours 

'  5 


in  his  shop  or  office,  he  is  a  good  husband,  a  good  father, 
because  he  can  abundantly  supply  the  needs  of  the 
household,  because  he  can  indulge  every  whim  of  his 
child,  because  he  enables  it  to  be  clothed  in  silks  and 
satins  and  velvets,  because  he  brings  to  it  every  pleasure 
earth  affords  and  because  he  surrounds  it  in  the  home 
with  every  form  of  refinement  in  material  things. 

Clothes  vs.  Character. 

I  say  to  you  that,  in  many  such  homes,  in  spite  of 
their  evidences  of  sensual  refinement,  the  only  unrefined 
"bjeets  are  often  those  who  foolishly  provide  such  luxuri- 
i'us  environment  for  children  who  are  unfitted  for  it. 
Many  a  mother  seems  to  believe  that,  if  she  exercise  all 
her  ingenuity  in  studying  "La  Mode"  or  "La  Saison," 
MI-  in IKT  French  books  of  fashion,  or  if  she  puts  "purple 
and  line  linen"  on  her  child's  back  and  sends  it  out  to  be 
the  envy  of  other  children,  she  has  done  her  full  duty. 

Suppose  we  went  to  the  interior  of  Africa,  taking 
with  us  trunkftils  of  twentieth  century  clothing!  Sup- 
pose we  were  there  to  invite  the  king  of  some  savage 
tribe  to  attire  himself  in  a  dress  suit,  and  give  him  a  silk 
hat  and  gloves  and  pumps;  suppose  we  were  to  ask  his 
dusky  wife  to  attire  herself  in  the  most  fashionable  even- 
in-  -costume ;  do  you  think  that  these  savages  clothed  as 
was  not  Solomon  in  all  his  glory,  were,  on  this  account, 
civili/ed?  Don't  you  realize  that  while  clothes  may,  in 
some  way,  impress  the  eye,  they  leave  the  soul  unim- 
proved? they  leave  the  individual  morally  unim- 
pressed? Foolishly,  indeed,  do  those  parents  act  who 


lavish  time  and  attention  on  the  child's  physical  adorn- 
ment to  the  neglect  of  its  spiritual  and  mental  develop- 
ment. How  many  children  have  been  spoilt  by  such 
parental  errors  is  beyond  my  power  to  recount !  No  worse 
enemy  can  a  child  have  than  a  guide  who  exalts  the 
child's  physical,  at  the  expense  of  its  mental,  moral  and 
spiritual,  powers ! 

Money  vs.  Morals. 

There' are  also  fathers  who  think  that  the  greatest  good 
they  can  achieve  for  their  offspring  is  the  acquisition  of 
a  large  fortune,  so  that  when,  in  due  time,  the  last  will 
and  testament  is  read,  it  is  found  that  the  family  is  not 
only  beyond  want,  but  that  it  inherits  the  largest  estate 
in  the  community.  As  society  is  now  constituted  the 
effort  and  toil  exerted  by  men  will  be  rewarded  by 
money ;  but  be  not  so  foolish,  parents,  as  to  believe  that 
the  best  thing  you  can  leave  your  progeny  is  much 
money.  Observation  has  taught  us  that  among  the  most 
worthless  creatures  are  the  children  of  millionaires  to 
whom  a  large  fortune  has  been  left  by  parents  who  failed 
to  develop  in  their  offspring  the  social  responsibilities 
which  such  a  fortune  brings.  Few  greater  mistakes  do 
we  make  than  when  we  so  act  in  the  presence  of  young 
children  that  we  unduly  impress  them  with  the  idea  that 
a  man  is  a  man  when  he  is  rich  and  that  he  is  no  man  un- 
less he  is  rich. 

Moral  Model,  Not  Mammon. 

I   wish   to  be   most  emphatic   in   my   assertion  that 
money  is  a  valuable  help  to  society,  that  money  has  its 


most  important  place  in  the  economy  of  life,  and  that 
we  are  right  to  toil  for  that  which  may  bring  advantages 
to  us  and  opportunities  to  our  children.  Never  accuse 
me,'  men  and  women,  of  indulging  a  communistic  hatred 
of  money  as  such;  but  I  have  a  hatred,  inexpressibly 
great,  and  a  contempt  unspeakably  deep,  for  the  folly 
of  those  who  unduly  emphasize  the  value  and  possession 
of  money,  knowing  as  I  do  that  there  are  so  many 
things  which  we  can  give  our  children,  and  which  we 
owe  to  those  whom  we  created  of  our  own  free  will, 
which  far  transcend  mere  money  in  value  and  import- 
ance. 

I  do  not  consider  that  parent  a  good  father  or  a  good 
mother  who  has  devoted  the  whole  of  life  to  the  ac- 
quisition of  money  thereby  neglecting  those  qualities 
which  may  be  an  illumination  to  the  child's  life.  I  do 
not  regard  that  man  and  woman  as  good  parents  who 
have  given  all  the  passing  years  to  the  accumulation  of 
a  fortune  failing  thereby  to  devote  proper  time  to  the 
true  education,  supervision  and  direction  of  their  off- 
spring which  they  brought  to  this  world  without  having 
consulted  them.  Without  any  fear  of  successful  con- 
tradiction, I  say  in  the  most  general  way  that  the  aver- 
age human  wreck  can  be  traced  to  this  type  of  so-called 
good  father  and  good  mother  who  pampered  and  petted 
and  spoilt  their  child,  failing  to  remember  that  "whom- 
soever the  Lord  loveth  He  correcteth,  as  a  father  the 
son  in  whom  he  delighteth." 


Needed  Preparation  for  Parenthood. 

We  are  beginning  to  realize  that,  in  every  profes- 
sion, art  or  occupation,  the  individual  who  is  to  advance 
must  have  proficient  knowledge.  I  am  speaking  to  men 
of  excellent  business  character  and  ability.  There  is  not 
a  business  man  here  who  obtained  his  business  training 
without  effort,  or,  having  made  a  success  of  his  business, 
achieved  it  without  hard  and  bitter  experience.  Speak- 
ing as  a  professional  man,  I  know  that  there  are  certain- 
ly very  few  men  who  have  ever  risen  to  eminence  in 
professional  life  but  frequently  burned  the  midnight 
oil,  but  shed  many  a  tear  of  despair,  but  sacrificed  amuse- 
ment to  the  honor  of  their  Muse. 

Were  we  to  invite  a  young  person  to  take  charge  of 
an  important  department  of  our  business,  I  am  sure  that 
we  would  not  accept  him  unless  he  could  prove  that  he 
possesses  character,  ability,  and  previous  experience.  In 
this  age  we  do  not  pay  in  business  for  mere  mechanical 
human  devices.  There  are  only  two  elements  for  which 
men  pay  in  the  business  world,  and  those  who  possess 
these  are  invaluable,  almost  beyond  price.  We  pay  for 
brain,  for  knowledge,  for  ability,  and  we  pay  a  high  price 
for  it;  and  we  pay  for  character,  responsibility,  relia- 
bility ;  for  little  else  will  sensible  men  offer  high  rewards 
to  employees. 

Were  you,  for  instance,  to  invite  a  man  to  fill  the 
pulpit  of  your  congregation,  you  would  expect  that  he 
had  been  fully  prepared  to  act  as  a  teacher  of  men  and 
women,  as  well  as  of  children.  If  I  understand  the  tern- 


per  of  this  congregation  I  am  sure  you  will  never,  here- 
after, accept  any  man  as  Rabbi  of  Rodeph  Shalom  unless 
he  is  at  least  a  graduate  of  a  university  and  of  a  theologi- 
cal seminary.  You  will  demand  that  of  my  successors, 
and  you  will  expect  more.  You  will  desire  not  only 
ability,  but  you  will  also  demand  character,  and  for  that 
you  will  offer  great  rewards. 

The  Art  of  all  Arts. 

Hut  in  the  art  of  all  arts,  that  of  parenthood,  the 
most  sacred  business  of  life,  no  previous  training,  knowl- 
edge i  >r  experience  is  demanded  of  those  who  are  to  un- 
dertake the  moulding  of  a  human  soul  for  its  life  destiny. 
A>  a  consequence  it  happens,  all  too  often,  that  ill-suited 
couples  wed  only  to  become  parents  of  defectives  pro- 
duced by  their  inefficiency  and  ignorance.  How  often 
it  occurs  that  young  persons  of  different  sexes  meet 
amid  the  palms  of  some  conservatory,  when  the  lamps 
are  turned  low  and  when  the  orchestra  is  performing 
>ome  seductive,  dreamy,  piece  of  waltz  music,  and  emo- 
tionalism  takes  the  place  of  sentiment  to  the  undoing  of 
both.  In  the  superficial  and  artificial  atmosphere  of  inane 
society  such  sentimentality  passes  for  the  love  "that  is 
-tn»ng  as  death,"  but  which,  in  reality,  is  the  source  of 
those  conditions  which  later  produce  the  marriage 

Deficiency  in  Parent  Produces  Defectiveness  in  Child. 

It  is  not  surprising  that,  when  ignorance  of  parental 
responsibility,  incompetence  and  inattention  meet  and 
wed.  later  on,  the  spoilt  child  is  born.  I  am  morally  cer- 

10 


taint  that,  to  a  great  degree,  out  of  such  relationships 
come  the  deficient,  defective  and  degenerate  among  the 
young.  The  spoilt  child,  whose  whim  is  the  law  of  the 
household,  whose  dainty  hands  are  created  to  do  no 
work,  whose  luxury-loving  ways  are  an  indictment 
of  its  weak  and  stupid  parents,  whose  imperious  and  im- 
pudent insensibility  to  moral  obligations  are  the  con- 
demnation of  the  parents,  is  a  curse  to  itself,  its  parents 
and  to  the  society  which  it  burdens  with  its  presence. 

Hope  Arises  from  Original  Virtue. 

As  Jews  we  believe  that  every  child  comes  into  this 
world  with  a  spotless  brow  and  a  stainless  heart,  a  bun- 
dle of  infinite  possibilities.  Every  Sabbath  we  recite  in 
our  prayers,  "O  Lord,  the  soul  which  thou  hast  given 
unto  me  came  pure  from  Thee."  In  that  prayer  we  give 
expression  to  the  belief  that  Original  Sin  finds  no  place 
in  Jewish  theology.  We  teach  Original  Virtue.  Sin  is 
not  the  result  of  our  first  father's  mistake. 

Every  child  born  in  normal  health  comes  prepared 
to  take  its  place  in  the  world.  It  has  no  walk  in  it  but  it 
has  feet,  and  we  teach  it  to  walk.  It  has  no  voice  in  it 
but  it  has  a  tongue,  and  we  teach  it  to  speak.  It  has  no 
sight  in  it  but  it  has  eyes,  and  we  accustom  them  to  the 
light.  It  has  no  knowledge  in  it  but  it  has  a  brain,  and 
we  teach  it  to  gain  wisdom  and  to  find  understanding. 
The  little  child  has  to  be  not  only  taught,  but  also  trained. 
The  difference  between  teaching  and  training  the  child 
is  this :  the  teacher,  whether  it  be  the  father,  mother, 
or  school-instructor,  gives  the  child  ideas;  but  teaching 

11 


becomes  training  when  the  parent,  guardian,  or  guide  so 
transforms  these  ideas  that  they  are  put  into  practice. 
Teaching  often  strikes  one  ear  of  the  child  and  goes  out 
of  the  other;  but  training  enters  into  the  very  soul  of 
the  child,  so  that,  ultimately,  its  will  responds  with  un- 
erring accuracy. 

How  the  Child  is  Spoilt. 

There  are  few  things  worse  for  a  child  than  that  it 
should  reach  maturity  without  the  correction  necessary 
f.n  its  guidance,  without  the  discipline  required  for  self- 
control  and  self-restraint.  More  children  have  reason 
to  attribute  their  failure  in  life  to  foolish  parental  in- 
dulgence than  to  wise  parental  correction.  Deficiency 
in  parents  will  produce  defectiveness  in  the  child.  Be- 
cause so  many  weak  parents  cannot  say  "No,"  when  a 
firm  denial  is  needed,  or  "Yes,"  when  encouraging 
affirmation  is  desired,  the  child  grows  to  maturity  to  find 
it>elf  the  sport  of  every  wave  of  passion  and  the  toy  of 
every  storm  of  lust.  Like  food  spoilt  by  overseasoning, 
like  (lowers  spoilt  by  over-much  water,  like  music  spoilt 
by  unnecessary  emphasis,  like  an  oration  spoilt  by  large 
words  and  superabundant  rhetoric,  like  pictures  spoilt 
by  inharmonious  colors,  so  the  dear  child  is  spoilt  by  the 
over-indulgence  of  weak,  though  well-meaning,  parents 
who  fail  to  correct  its  xlefects  in  early  life  and  who  know 
not  how  to  discipline  it  when  guidance  and  control  are 
needed. 

Dr.  Brill's  Observations. 

I  have  here  in  my  hand  a  little  pamphlet  by  Dr.  A 
12 


A.  Brill,  of  New  York,  entitled  "The  Only  or  Favorite 
Child  in  Adult  Life."  It  is  a  reprint  from  the  "New  York 
State  Journal  of  Medicine,"  of  August,  1912,  and  can  be 
obtained  for  the  asking.  I  would  that  you  might  read 
it.  Speaking  of  the  spoilt  child  he  says,  "If  one  should 
ask  wherein  these  difficulties"  (experienced  by  this  type 
of  child  to  adjust  itself  to  its  environment)  "lie,  the  ex- 
perienced psychanalyst  would  readily  point  to  the  par- 
ents. Indeed,  the  more  we  study  the  psychoneuroses 
the  clearer  it  becomes  that  the  most  potent  factor  in 
their  determination  is  the  early  parental  influence."  Sad 
to  relate  the  child,  spoilt  by  inefficient  parents  even  when 
there  are  many  children  in  the  house,  is  almost  invariably 
spoilt  when  its  parents  have  deliberately  robbed  it  of  its 
rightful  claim  to  the  proper  companionship  of  a  young 
child  or  children  growing  with  it  through  its  earliest 
years.  Such  a  child  becomes,  says  Dr.  Brill,  "a  very 
poor  competitor  in  the  struggle  for  existence — lacks  in- 
dependence, self-confidence  and  practical  skill, — is  very 
hard  to  associate  with  people  of  his  own  age, — while 
the  slightest  depreciation,  hardly  noticeable  by  the  aver- 
age person,  is  sufficient  to  throw  him  into  a  fit  of  depres- 
sion and  rage  lasting  for  days  and  even  weeks — .  He 
develops  into  a  confirmed  egoist — In  later  life  he  is  ex- 
tremely conceited,  jealous  and  envious,  he  begrudges 
the  happiness  of  friends  and  acquaintances  and  he  is, 
therefore,  shunned  and  disliked." 

Society's  Duty. 

If  you  will  further  follow  the  case  of  the  spoilt  child 
it  will  repay  you  to  read  "The  Coming  Generation,"  by 

13 


Dr.  \Y.  B.  Forbresh.  This  type  frequently  manifests 
the  characteristics  of  the  mentally  and  morally  deficient 
in  whom  lies  "a  genius  for  wickedness,"  indulged  by  the 
foolish  habits  of  otherwise  good  parents  who  cannot 
bring  themselves  to  do  anything  which  may  thwart  the 
child  they  think  they  love.  If  such  disastrous  results 
ensue  from  the  incapacity  of  parents,  ought  we  not  take 
steps  to  avoid  the  dreadful  waste  of  what  might  be  most 
promising  material?  Ought  not  society  protect  itself 
by  insisting  that  education  should  be  so  directed  that  it 
prepares  the  young  for  the  place  they  will  one  day  occupy 
as  parents? 

Correction  Necessary. 

The  fond  parents  are  apt  to  believe  their  goose  to 
be  a  >\van.  and  that  their  children  are  modern  Venuses 
i>r  Adonises.  That  might  be  excused  if  only  these  young 
Minis  were  properly  trained  for  the  duties  of  life  and  were 
in  it  led  to  believe  that  shrewdness  and  cunning,  and 
cruelty  and  sharp  dealing,  are  commendable.  Many  of 
the  clever  and  bright  things  said  or  done  by  boys  and 
girls,  the  mean  tricks  they  perform  and  the  impudent 
replies  they  make,  bring  the  smile  to  parents'  faces,  when 
they  should  be  reproached  with  the  utmost  firmness.  In 
this  undiscriminating  mark  of  approval  lies  the  beginning 
<-f  the  downfall  of  many  a  man  and  woman,  and  their 
failure  to  realixe  the  best  possibilities  of  their  nature. 

Patterns  Not  Punishments. 

\Ve  have,  thank  God,  emerged  from  the  era  in  which 
it  was  proverbial  that  "a  woman,  a  dog,  and  a  walnut 

14 


tree,  the  more  you  beat  them  the  better  they'll  be."  The 
savage  is  growing  into  the  human  and,  therefore,  it  is 
no  longer  deemed  necessary  to  strike  a  child  in  order 
to  correct  it.  If  a  parent  desires  to  impress  a  moral 
ideal  upon  the  mind  and  soul  of  the  child,  God  has  fur- 
nished the  natural  medium  for  the  purpose.  If  a  parent 
would  provide  a  child  with  the  power  to  resist  evil,  God 
has  provided  the  natural  means  of  doing  so.  The  rod 
is  not  the  medium,  nor  is  the  whip  the  means.  For  every 
demon  of  evil  driven  out  by  a  stripe  laid  on  in  anger, 
ten  are  driven  in.  For  every  reproof  uttered  by  an  en- 
raged parent  to  its  child,  a  hundred  arguments  are  raised 
in  the  mind  of  the  young  in  rebuttal.  The  parent's  anger 
and  rage  are  the  evidences  that  it  knows  not  how  to 
correct  a  child.  The  eye  is  a  more  immediate  avenue  to 
the  mind  and  soul,  than  the  ear  or  any  other  bodily 
organ.  Children  need  patterns,  not  punishments.  They 
require  models,  not  stripes.  They  want  examples,  not 
speeches.  I  am  not  surprised  that  the  man  who  said, 
"T  never  strike  my  son,  except  in  self-defense,"  should 
have  had  a  son  against  whom  he  found  it  necessary  to 
protect  himself. 
} 
The  Help  from  Religion. 

The  really  wise  and  good  parent  will  early  train  the 
child  to  a  religious  life.  The  normal  child  is  by  nature 
religious,  and  its  pure  soul  craves  for  the  exercises  and 
ideals  provided  by  a  simple  and  beautiful  rational  relig- 
ion. Nothing  can  ever  supply  the  place  which  religion 
should  occupy  in  child-life.  The  parent  who  ever  utters 


15 


a  sneering  word  about  religion,  or  shows  contempt  for 
it.  in  the  presence  of  a  child,  does  the  young  more  harm 
than  years  and  years  of  effort  can  replace. 

Do  not  misunderstand  me!  I  do  not  mean  that  you 
may  not  adversely  criticize  a  teacher,  religious  or  secu- 
lar; but  you  ought  not  do  so  in  the  hearing  of  a  child 
of  tender  years.  It  associates  and  identifies  religion 
with  the  minister  and  education  with  the  teacher.  It 
argues  that  if  the  minister  is  not  good  religion  is  not 
good,  and  that,  if  the  teacher  is  not  respected  by  the 
parents,  education  is  unworthy  of  respect.  Children  can- 
not make  fine  differentiations  and,  I  verily  believe,  the 
parents  guilty  of  bringing  religion  into  disrepute  with 
their  child  are  the  foes  of  their  own  offspring.  After  all, 
religion  does  develop  self-restraint  and  self-control,  and 
"he  that  conquers  his  spirit  is  greater  than  he  that  taketh 
a  citv."  After  many  thousands  of  years  of  human  ex- 
perience nothing  lias  been  found  to  supply  these  needed 
clement-  as  can  religion.  If,  then,  you  love  your  dear, 
promising  children,  train  them  in  the  way  everlasting, 
for  their  good  and  for  the  sake  of  your  own  happiness. 

Save  the  Child  From  Being  Spoilt. 

If  you  would  save  the  child  from  being  spoilt  train 
it  early  to  become  independent,  to  stand  on  its  own  feet, 
to  take  care  of  itself.  For  the  life  of  me  I  cannot  under- 
stand why  parents  are  unwilling  to  let  their  child  pass 
through  the  experiences  they  endured  early  in  life,  and 
vhich  not  only  did  not  harm  them  but  became  sources 
of  strength  to  them.  When  the  mother  eagle  knows 

16 


that  her  young  can  fly,  she  forces  them  on  to  her  wings, 
leaps  into  space  with  them,  and  thus  compels  them  to 
use  their  wings  in  flight.  Should  we  show  less  intelli- 
gence than  a  bird?  Let  the  child  early  understand  that 
life  means  struggle,  and  that,  if  it  would  become  some- 
body and  something,  it  must  be  physically,  mentally, 
morally  and  spiritually  equipped  for  the  contest.  Only 
thus  will  strength  replace  weakness.  A  child  ought  to 
learn  quite  early  in  life  that  the  icy  winds  are  no  colder 
today  than  when  father  was  a  boy,  and  that  the  sun  is 
no  warmer  now  than  when  mother  was  a  girl. 

The  Strength  of  Struggle. 

Many  of  the  necessary  elements  in  discipline,  many 
of  the  difficulties  which  must  be  surmounted  as  the  child 
grows  to  adult  life,  should  be  intelligently  explained  to 
it  as  trials  imposed  by  God  to  strengthen  and  develop 
His  children.  Last  night  I  watched  a  young  dog  con- 
tending with  a  big  bone  which  it  scraped  and  gnawed 
and  bit,  and  I  realized  that  I  knew  what  the  brute  knew 
not.  I  knew  that  that  was  the  method  which  nature  de- 
signs as  the  process  for  sharpening  the  animal's  teeth, 
so  that  some  day  it  may  be  able  to  feed  properly  and 
defend  itself  and  its  protector  against  enemies.  Were 
I  asked  to  offer  a  prayer  for  the  children  you  and  I  love 
so  much,  I  am  sure  that  I  would  include  in  my  words 
some  such  phrase  as  this,  "O  God,  send  these  dear  ones 
difficulties  that  they  may  prove  themselves  men  and 
women,  and  take  out  of  their  lives  ease,  that  effort  may 
force  them  to  prove  their  worth." 


17 


Find  Advice. 

\Ve  should  understand  that  our  little  children  are, 
after  all,  very  like  ourselves  and  they  will  show  none  of 
those  qualities  we  admire  unless  we  train  them  to  such 
end.*  Experience  shows  that  the  worst  and  most  worth- 
less children  are  those  boys  and  girls  with  dainty  hands. 
Let  us  try  to  make  the  little  one  understand  that  every- 
thing that  is  done  for  it  should  evoke  on  its  part  an 
equivalent  return.  Such  results  can  be  achieved  if  we 
are  convinced  that  the  cradle  is  a  shrine;  the  home  a 
sanctuary;  the  parents,  priests;  the  little  children,  the 
congregation.  In  the  last  analysis  there  is  no  orator 
that  has  a  tithe  of  the  power  possessed  by  the  mother 
who  teaches  her  child  of  God;  nor  is  there  any 
-culptor  who  has  one-tenth  the.  influence  of  the 
father  who  strives  to  imprint  upon  his  child's  soul  the 
ima^e  of  its  Maker.  Let  us  train  our  children  to  expect 
a--  little  as  possible  and  to  give  as  much  as  they  can. 
Let  us  train  our  children  never  to  accept  charity,  though 
in  all  tilings  to  exercise  it.  Let  us  teach  our  children 
that  Jacob,  when  wrestling  with  the  angel,  struggled  with 
his  opponent,  fought  the  contender,  and  by  fighting, 
>t  niggling,  wrestling,  he  became  Israel,  the  Prince  of 
(•••(I.  Let  us  be  faithful  and  worthy  exemplars  to  our  chil- 
dren, whom  we  lovingly  correct,  when  correction  is 
needed,  as  (io<l  corrects  us,  and  society  will  soon  be 
ridded  ,  .f  the  spoilt  child. 


18 


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